My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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