I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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