My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
