did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
