is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
