can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
