your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
