I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
