honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
