i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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