id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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