Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
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