you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
