I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize