First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
