Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
