im gay
i know
yea but for you.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
