if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
