there was a trapeze. enough said
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
