Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
