You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
