I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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