smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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