My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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