I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I don't deserve a penis
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Randomize
