if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
