i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Randomize