I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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