No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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