So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
