Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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