Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
