we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
