I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
