I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
