We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
