She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
