It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
