I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize