Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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