so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
