You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
