Christians are straight up FREAKS
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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