Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
