i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
you're hired as official boob wrangler
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
