K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize