I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
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