We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
