I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
