i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
