I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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