I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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