My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
