walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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