he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I am one with the molecules
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
