is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
