nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
