I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
