sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Randomize