my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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