My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
