Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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