i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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