i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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