so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Buhtt sex?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
