Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
