I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize