Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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