So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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