Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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