I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
