My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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