You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize