But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
that's an acceptable place to lick
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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