we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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