Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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