Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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