I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
