Christians are straight up FREAKS
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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